Lost Soul

 

                                              Lost Soul

I have my soul lost in unknown thoughts, thoughts that scatter like leaves in the wind. I am surrounded by shapeless and confused feelings, as if the screws in my mind had come loose.
I don’t know how to deal with this situation. I cannot simply erase everything as if it were a blackboard. I refuse to lose my sense of self and forget a life left unlived.

I need to free myself from this prison and let emotion take control and lull my thoughts to sleep. This feeling that overwhelms me is as strong as a storm, devastating and destroying everything in its path, building nothing. Rejection prevents the cultivation of something magical and transcendental, like a flower that cannot bloom.

I suffer because I will never know what could have been, and this cannot be erased, for it is not written in chalk. I am nothing and know nothing about what I can offer, whether I might falter or simply cause pain.

Let me keep all of this as a beautiful emotion and live in contemplation, like a painter admiring their unfinished work. Will I be able to? I feel sad and happy at the same time; I don’t want to lose you, so don’t push me away and don’t stop being with me.

A thousand apologies for placing everything under such conditions. Oh, my lost soul, do not let yourself be defeated, for I am the one lost in these sensations. Something has awakened in me, asleep for many years, like an ancient story a thousand years old.